The policy is "all stick, no carrot", says de Bolle of the Peterson Institute. "And it doesn't seem like they understand that they do need carrots."
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As for soulmates, the science points to a paradox. The people who end up with relationships that feel uniquely "meant to be" are often the ones who stopped waiting for fate, turned towards the flawed person in front of them and said, in effect: shall we make something of this?